Rubbin' is Racin'

Here at J&K we are big fans of racing. We follow all kinds of motorsports at all levels. Today we are going to talk about the state of Nascar.

While we absolutely love to follow the sport, we feel it has begun the downward spiral. Nascar has become more about pomp and circumstance than actual racing. Nascar is no longer your gritty, let it all hang out races anymore. This is a big money game where image is everything. There are only a few organizations that consistently win and it isn't coincidental that these are the high roller teams.

We watch Nascar almost every week and have come to the conclusion that it's merely a high speed parade lap until there are about 50 laps left. I believe if that's the way it is going to be then let's just have a 50 lap dash every week. This won't happen because of one thing: money. Less sponsorship exposure and less TV time. I realize Nascar needs sponsorship money now more than ever but they also need fans. Even the legendary Bristol shrine had trouble selling tickets this year.

Another reason Nascar is on the decline is the lack of true racers. Car owners and sponsors choose the most marketable people and not the most talented. Personally, I could care less what the guy looks like as long as he can drive it like he stole it. There are only a handful of true racers on the circuit while there is a laundry list of primadonnas. These guys are making so much money doing cartwheels on Allstate commercials that on Sunday they ride around and collect a check. The most popular driver in Nascar, Dale Jr, has yet to win a championship. While he is likeable, he is lacking that winner's edge. Many blamed it on his inferior equipment but now he is on a top notch team and still can't get it done.

My dad is involved in miniature motorsports. I know of guys just in this local area with a ton of talent that never even get a shot at the big show. Then you have guys like Casey Mears who with the combination of his family name, likeability, and marginal skills gets multiple opportunities. He couldn't cut it at Hendrick as a research and developmental driver and then gets a shot with Childress on a great team. I firmly believe this was a sponsor's call. Once again money talks.

Nascar needs a shot in the arm right now and the answer is good racing. You put a good product out on the track and believe me, people will come. Shorten the races a bit. Put more emphasis on leading laps and not riding around. One simple solution: for every lap led, get a point. Come on Nascar ...we are throwing the lack of competition caution on you!

Spring is here!

OK folks, I know...I know.... The NBA playoffs are on, the NFL draft is saturday, and Talladega is also this weekend. So guess what we're here to talk about? Baseball. While we are into all of the previous mentioned events (some more than others). Nothing quite compares to a good 'ol baseball game.

I couldn't wait for this season to start and am planning a couple of possible trips to different MLB parks this year. I also plan on attending some youth baseball games. I grew up on some of the local fields here and it's always nice to reminisce. Some people can't always afford to go to the pro games but try supporting your local youth organizations. I love to see the younger ones watching the airplanes in the outfield or picking dandelions. I also enjoy the competitiveness of the older kids who are trying to always make it to that next step.

I realize times are tough for many but if you're like me there is just something about a baseball game that takes your worries away for awhile. The local minor league team has new ownership and I attended opening night. The baseball was mediocre and the food was worse but I'm going to do my best to support this forgotten team. This is still a relatively cheap family night. No matter, it was nice to take in a game with three generations of family. You can't put a price tag on times like that.

So let's all remember that baseball is America's pastime. Go play catch with the kids, find a random park to take a game in, or make a road trip to your favorite pro team. I would love to hear your favorite baseball moment or story.

Infomercials Part 2

For those of you who just can't get enough of this guy. It has been brought to our attention that he has a new product. Notice, it is advertised as chops nuts in one slap! If we're lucky, he'll use it on himself. But wait there's more, he has his trusty microphone. What a tool!

Jacks and Kings Presents: The good, the bad and the ugly (our style)

The Good: This one is an easy one. This past week citizens took action and stood up against the endless free spending federal government. The “Tea Parties” across the nation were an inspiration, a blast from the past even. People uniting across the nation to say to the “elected” politicians…..hey you work for us…..stop wasting our money! But leave it to the Government to label these people extremist and their media to spin it….ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous! I salute all the American citizens that stood up and said enough is enough. This is your right to do as an American citizen grated to you by our constitution written by our founding fathers who knew what tyranny was all about. They knew there might be a day when this would happen again and wrote in our constitution our right to speak out with freedom of speech. As sad as it is, that day has arrived. Our government is corrupt and power hungry and will demonize anyone who stands in their way. It’s time to throw those bastards out when election time comes and retake this country. It’s time to put term limits on congress and the senate. Those cats are getting fat and don’t care about the people who elected them. Way to go Tea Baggers! And if you wanna put a sexual spin on that….fine by me….I actually don’t find one of them appealing enough to do that to. I do find a few appealing that I’d like to donkey punch.

The Bad: There is a long list to choose from but I’m going to pick on the Free Credit Report Ass Clowns. Where did they find these 3 annoying losers at? Is Free Credit Report hard up enough that they drove around L.A. Neighborhoods looking for garage bands to hire. My God! I wear out the mute button on my TV every time one of these stupid commercials comes on. To me they rank up there with the Sham-wow dude and Billy Mayes infomercials. I know when I see three losers riding around singing in a car about checking your credit…I just want to run to the pc and check….after all these three losers are using it. Please….Free Credit Report…fire your advertising company and these morons and hire someone else…..you could hire Jacks and Kings. I could fart out a better commercial on the toilet that what you’re currently paying for. Drop us an email if you want to hire us. We will do the first one for free.

The Ugly: Bud Selig (MLB Baseball Commissioner) - In today’s time when corporations lose money, embezzle or just mismanaged someone has to go. Isn’t that right? Isn’t that the way our system works. You do a bad job….you’re gone. Well, not in baseball. In baseball you can have a steroids controversy year after year. Appear before congress and weasel out of it and somehow keep moving along as if nothing ever happened (to you of course Mr. Selig). You have the players take the fall. You have players defending themselves even the innocent ones. Yes, they were cheating by doing the steroids. But in a system that Mr. Selig was the commissioner of, he knew what was going on and did nothing of it….Until…..the zit got so big it busted all over the mirror. Well, that zit is still infected, and it will be until this moron is out of baseball. Thanks Bud for giving us an era of baseball with an asterisk on it. When players from your era are elected to the Hall of Fame Bud, people are going to wonder….were they on the “juice” or “cream”. It’s time for baseball to fire him and get some new blood for our national past time. It’s time to take one of the greatest games ever and restore it to where it belongs.

J & K Top 10 Bond Girl Names

This week’s top 10 is brought to by James Bond…007

We all love the action of the James Bond movies but we love the women of the films as well. After all, if you are doing this for queen and country you may as well do it with style, and Bond does do that. So, here is the J &K top 10 Bond Girl names.

10. Jinx

9. Xenia Onatopp

8. Strawberry Fields

7. Mary Goodnight

6. Penelope Smallbone

5. Plenty O’Toole

4. Octopussy

3. Honey Rider

2. Holly Goodhead

1. Pussy Galore

Our First Top 10 List

Here at J&K we are going to have a periodic top 10 list and we're kicking it off today with:

The Top 10 Names in Sports

10. A.J Allmendinger

9. Coco Crisp

8. Will Power

7. Milton Bradley

6. Kurt Busch

5. Randy "The big unit" Johnson

4. Kosuke Fukudome

3. Dick Trickle

2. Rusty Kuntz

1. Dick Butkus

Infomercials

It is late here and I'm sitting in bed watching tv. Most people who know me would consider me a night owl. With that said, in my time I have seen some pretty ridiculous stuff on television at these late hours. I absolutely despise infomercials...what a bunch of junk. I love how whatever piece of crap they're selling alwas costs $19.95. We all know the next line after that is "but wait there's more". It's like not only are you going to get this crap we'll throw in some of our old crap that nobody bought. We have to make room in the warehouse for the next batch of junk. For you math wizards out there here is infomercials summed up in a nutshell.

That graphic was used from a site called www.morenewmath.com/. It has

a bunch of fun examples of math similar to this. Ok, so back to the infomercials. There is one infomercial that now has regular commercials that can also be seen at odd hours. I know everyone has seen the Shamwow guy. This waste of a human organism sells chamois, for youguessed it, $19.95. I have yet to understand why this guy has on a headset when he is doing a commercial. Is he taking calls from the fools that actually buy this nonsense? Does he think he is some pop singer in concert? I don't understand why anyone would buy something like this. There is a reason why it's called a shamwow: I'm selling a sham and wow you people are buying it!

For those of you that don't know, Vince Shlomi, Mr. Shamwow guy was arrested in Miami recently in an altercation with a prostitute he had solicited. This is what he looks like sans headphone.

I'm not sure if those shamwows can soak up greasy slime but if you have one laying around maybe we could try to soak up this scumball and he'll disappear magically. If so, I'll pay the $19.95.... Well, that's all for now. I am going to wrap up in my snuggie and watch Billy Mays hawk some Mighty Putty.